Lonely Nights

Well, here it is. My first blog post to begin this adventure in sharing my innermost secrets and feelings with you. I know you won't be reading this anytime soon, but when you do, I pray you will gain insight into a little of my life before there was "us."

Right now, it's just me. Solo. Single. Lonely but not alone, thanks to my Heavenly Father. Although He is always here with me and comforts me during my times of need, I still face the realities of lonely days and nights without someone here to share the day-to-day experiences. For the longest time, I've been able to set aside my longings and focus on the path God's laid out before me. But recently, the longings have intensified and I find myself struggling more and more.

Nights are the worst. I wind down usually in front of my computer chatting or watching a movie on TV until my body or my brain tell me it's time for bed. Then, if my eyes aren't too crosseyed, I might work my way through a chapter in the latest book I'm reading. Otherwise, I go through my nightly routine, slip beneath the covers on my bed and pray as I drift off to sleep.

Some nights are harder than others. There are times when I can fall asleep in less than ten minutes. Other nights, I toss and turn and repeatedly open my eyes to see the minutes ticking away on the clock by my bed. It's those nights when I usually end up grabbing one of my stuffed animals (usually my large horse) and hugging it close to me for comfort. Not quite what I desire, but sufficient for the time being.

And tomorrow I start my work in the nursery at church. Loving children is what led me to volunteer, and I've been away from babies for so long, I pray I remember what it's like to spend time with them again. But I'm a woman and a natural, right? *g* So, no problem.

On that note, it's time to hit the hay. Talk to you tomorrow!