Nursery Duty

I had my first morning working in the nursery of the church I now attend. At my previous church, I spent a lot of time working with children. From the time I was 13 years old, I began working in the children's church and helping with the babies or toddlers. Guess you could say it was familiar to me, since I had 2 younger brothers (at the time aged 5 and a newborn) and the routine of caring for children came naturally.

But about 8 years ago, that church split and I faced a feeling of loss like I'd never known. I felt so out of place, like I had lost my "niche" and "purpose." It's taken me that long to come back to where I know God has called me. Only now, I find that working with children heightens my desire to have some of my own. I dream of the day when I can hold my own newborn in my arms and know that he/she was created from the love you and I share.

Some might say that it's possible God doesn't intend for me to have children, but if that were the case, I don't believe the dreams I have of the future where I'm a wife and mother would occur so frequently. And I don't think children would flock to me the way they do or that I would enjoy being around them so much.

It's not easy, watching my friends marry and start families. I know I need to be patient and trust God's timing. I know I still have some unresolved issues in finances and personal trust or intimacy that I need to deal with. But I also know that God won't give me more than I can handle, and I look forward to the day when I can share my love with you and start a family as God intended.

I pray that day isn't too far into the future.